Maybe.

I'm feeling it again. Feels like I've been woken up from a really good dream. The kind of dream where your day has gone perfectly, all the things you wanted to happen went directly your way. You find that wallet you lost a week ago and have been stressing about. You go buy groceries to fill the fridge. The tests for the week are studied for and passed. Then you wake up to realize everything is undone and life is about to re-roll the dice, the day will most likely end up less favorable.

I suppose my apathy has its limits. I just wish I knew how not to fall into that loop again.

But I guess the real question is do I wake up and take hold of life or continue to flow with the natural state of things. No one told me being intelligent would end up being such a burden to life. I always thought I would have the upper hand when looking for happiness.

I'm tired of people holding me against me.
I'm tired of being stretched in 50 directions.
I'm tired of this fucking cycle.
There is no quarter in this place.