This is your brain on leisure.

I was thinking tonight that there must be some mechanical explanation for my different view on life.  It's obvious at this point, I have a capacity to divulge my, what seems very simplistic and frankly dull, goals for life without regarding much of the social recoil I receive from other people.  Not to say I don't acknowledge their reactions.  They make their views blatently clear, almost humorously clear, after regurgitating their own meticulously laid out goals for life as if to say with a raised eyebrow and a puffed-chest pomp, "Wow.  Anyway, so, I hope you heard what I want to do with my life, because that's what everyone should be doing.  I'm doing it right.  I think you're brave.  But you're going to fail.  What you are doing will not work, and shouldn't work for that matter."

The jury's out on that.  Actions speak.  We'll see when I'm done.

Here's the question for myself.  Why am I capable of this?  Why am I capable of 'not caring'?  I've been reading all night... here's what I've come up with.

The prefrontal cortex of our brain, the most evolutionary advanced part of our brain, is responsible for many of the behaviors we consider human, personality, and the like.  As studies show, one of the main functions of our prefrontal cortex is to do one thing. And I'll sum it up.  The prefrontal cortex tells the rest of your brain:

1.  "Do the things that suck so you can do the things that don't."
but it also says this, almost equivalently.
2.  "Do the right thing, even though it goes against your nature or might be harder to do."

This is what our evolution has gifted us with.
As we age however, our prefrontal cortex does less of that, and kind of settles into a maintenance stage, where it simply regulates: do what is correct in this situation.

So what does my brain do?
My brain does #2 very well.  I think I'm capable of sacrificing a lot to do the right thing.  Personally, I think my prefrontal cortex is doing a magnificent job with that in the face of much opposing stimulus (constant: "Wow.  That's dumb man.  You're fucking up.")
But... maybe I'm not doing #1.  I want to live life now, and let it suck when I'm old, when it will suck anyway.  It's known as pleasure postponement.  And it's the reason it is harder for older people to go back to school.  They no longer care.  And it's not their fault.

SO... do I have an old brain?  Is it aging?  Is it damaged?  Maybe; maybe not.

BUT! Maybe I do meet both criteria: #1 and #2.

Perhaps I am doing something that sucks to do something that doesn't suck later.  Experiencing life as it is while I am at this stage so that, later on, after it has sucked, I can know with a higher degree of certainty what I can do that won't suck.

I think the word 'suck' has reached an certain elegance in this post. 
Maybe that's an explanation: "I'm capable of sucking elegantly."